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Building a Shared Mission

Premarital Foundations: Session 3 Homework (Complete Individually)

Before You Begin

Most marriages don't drift apart because of one dramatic failure. They drift because two people who once shared a life slowly become two people who share a calendar: coordinating logistics, splitting chores, managing a home, while the sense of why they're building a life together quietly fades into the background. This homework is designed to help you and your partner name what you're building together before the busyness of married life has a chance to crowd it out.

Please complete this on your own, before your next session. Some questions ask how often something is true of you day to day. Others ask how true a statement feels right now, including things you and your partner may have already discussed. Each question shows a row of labeled buttons. Just tap the one that fits best. Three open questions follow the rating items. When you're finished, email your responses to your pastor to review before Session 3.

Shared Purpose

1 = Strongly Disagree    2 = Disagree    3 = Neutral    4 = Agree    5 = Strongly Agree

1. We have talked about what we want our marriage to build together, beyond the wedding day.

1 = Hardly at all    2 = A little    3 = Somewhat    4 = Quite a bit    5 = Completely

2. I have a clear sense of what our shared purpose as a couple looks like.
3. I am drawn to building something together that outlasts just the two of us: family, generosity, community impact.

Team Mindset

1 = Never    2 = Rarely    3 = Sometimes    4 = Often    5 = Always

4. We make decisions with our long-term shared goals in mind, not just immediate needs.
5. I notice when we've slipped into pure logistics and work to reconnect around purpose.

1 = Hardly at all    2 = A little    3 = Somewhat    4 = Quite a bit    5 = Completely

6. I feel like a teammate with my partner, not just someone managing logistics together.

Individual Calling Within Shared Mission

1 = Never    2 = Rarely    3 = Sometimes    4 = Often    5 = Always

7. I make room for my partner's individual calling, rather than expecting it to match mine exactly.

1 = Strongly Disagree    2 = Disagree    3 = Neutral    4 = Agree    5 = Strongly Agree

8. My partner and I have talked about how our individual goals and callings fit within our shared life.

1 = Hardly at all    2 = A little    3 = Somewhat    4 = Quite a bit    5 = Completely

9. I feel supported by my partner in pursuing my own calling, not just theirs.

Faith-Centered Purpose

1 = Strongly Disagree    2 = Disagree    3 = Neutral    4 = Agree    5 = Strongly Agree

10. We have talked about how our faith will shape what we build together as a couple.
11. I have talked with my partner about what legacy of faith we want to leave for our family and others.

1 = Hardly at all    2 = A little    3 = Somewhat    4 = Quite a bit    5 = Completely

12. I am confident our marriage will be built with God at the center of our shared purpose.

In Your Own Words

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A Legacy Worth Building

"Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain" (Psalm 127:1, NIV) is a fitting reminder as you name your shared purpose together. A mission-minded marriage isn't simply two people agreeing on a five-year plan. It's a shared life built with God as the one laying the foundation, so that what you build together has a strength no amount of planning alone could provide.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans" (Proverbs 16:3, NIV) points to the same posture. Naming a shared mission isn't about locking in every detail before the wedding. It's about committing your hopes and direction to God together, trusting that a purpose held jointly, and held openly before Him, has room to grow into something neither of you could fully picture on your own.

Thank You

Thank you for taking the time to think this through honestly. Naming what you hope to build together, before the wedding, gives your marriage a compass to return to whenever the busyness of daily life threatens to crowd purpose out.

Building a Shared Mission (PDF)
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