Choosing Inclusion
Including Others Who Are Not Like Us: A Biblical and Christian Guide for Teens
Why This Matters
Groups naturally form around sameness: same interests, same background, same social standing. The Gospel repeatedly pushes against this default. “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28, NIV) breaks down exactly the kind of lines groups tend to draw without thinking about it.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God” (Romans 15:7, NIV) ties how you welcome others directly to how you were welcomed, undeserved, and without conditions.
A Heart-Level Invitation
Consider: think of the last new person who joined your school, class, or group. Did you notice them, and did you do anything about it?
“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it” (Hebrews 13:2, NIV) suggests the person easiest to overlook might matter more than you realize.
Signs You Might Be Excluding Without Meaning To
Directions: Notice which of these apply to you.
- I mostly spend time with people who are like me
- I have avoided sitting with or talking to someone because they seemed different
- I have laughed along when a group excluded or mocked someone
- I feel unsure how to talk to someone from a different background
- I assume someone would not want to be included, without asking
- I have stayed silent when I noticed someone being left out
- I judge people quickly based on how they look or act
- I stick with my usual group even when I notice someone sitting alone
- I have made assumptions about someone before getting to know them
- I feel more comfortable avoiding differences than asking questions about them
Why We Exclude Without Meaning To
Comfort and familiarity make it easier to stay with people who are already like you. This is not usually malicious, but it quietly excludes others by default. Reaching out to someone different can feel socially risky, so the safer choice is often to avoid it. Group dynamics, popularity, cliques, and existing social lines often reinforce exclusion without anyone consciously deciding to exclude a person.
Tolerance Versus Inclusion
Tolerance
Tolerance means not actively excluding someone, but also not going out of your way to include them. It is passive.
Inclusion
Inclusion actively notices who is on the outside and makes room for them. It treats welcome as something to practice, not only something to avoid violating.
Simple Ways to Practice Inclusion
- Notice Who's Alone: look for the person sitting by themselves, standing at the edge of a group, or left out of a conversation.
- Make the First Move: the effort of crossing the gap usually falls on whoever notices first. Let that be you.
- Include Without Making a Show of It: real inclusion is not about being seen as inclusive. It is about making room, whether anyone notices or not.
- Push Back Gently on Exclusion When You See It: if a group is mocking or excluding someone, a small act of pushback or invitation matters more than staying silent.
- Get to Know What's Different, Not Only What Looks Different: real inclusion goes past politeness into genuine curiosity about someone's actual experience.
Inclusion as a Reflection of Christ
- Prayer: ask God to show you who is being overlooked around you.
- A Trusted Mentor: watch someone who models this well, and learn from how they do it.
- Scripture: Galatians 3:28, Romans 15:7, and Hebrews 13:2 are worth returning to often.
Getting Started
Notice one person this week who seems to be on the outside of a group. Make one small effort to include them.